The Message of the Ericsson Alien - (submitted by Ron)

Following his liberation from a mobile telephone shop in Cairo, the Ericsson Alien began promulgating its message of peace and love and harmony between humans, cats, and indeed all of creation. The word "Veiërggh", now a borrowed word in English (taken from the alien language), best approximates this concept of the Ericsson Alien's vision for how the world should be.

Upon being scrubbed of the Cairo grime with gentle dishwashing soap, the Alien told its new benefactors that it didn't think humanity was quite ready for its message, and announced that it has decided to start directly with the feline community, long known for their self-serving ways, anti-social behavior, and wanton destruction of household objects.

Behold the time for the Ericsson Alien's message has come!

See the video here for the first time! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bnqd-qeI34

Ahhh, Italy… At Last

Well, we survived the flooded Tibre in Rome (and Arno in Florence) and are slowly adjusting to life back in Cairo (which essentially means we’re coming to accept that we are no longer in Italy). We refused to leave the house our first full day back, but did venture out for a commissary run on our second day.

To sum it up, we LOVED Italy! (But who couldn’t/wouldn’t?!) We spent the first seven days in Rome, then took a train to Florence for two days, then back to Rome for our last night. Personally, Rome was my favorite; primarily due to the grandiose, Baroque, jaw-dropping, overly-ornate churches, the beautiful architecture at every turn, and the people who were extremely nice. Florence was beautiful too, however we did run in to more than one (significantly more) people who were a) less than helpful, and b) rather snarky. So that definitely colored my impression. But I did fall in love with the Duomo in Florence, in particular the Baptista (got a neck cramp from gazing at the mosaic ceiling there).

I have written up our vacation, in very long, typical-Julia, blathering-on style and I will not subject everyone to my ramblings. However, I will share some snippets and some photos.

***

December 8, 2008 – Day of Departure
We left Cairo, purposefully, on the first day of Eid El Fitr; hoping to avoid witnessing the mass slaughtering of sheep. As our car to the airport pulled out on to 26 July Street, Ron glanced sideways and muttered, “Eid’s begun.” “Yes, twenty minutes ago!” our helpful driver added, noting the time of 7:20am. I did not glance where Ron was looking, as I understood what he meant.

Once we arrived in Rome, after a mere three hour flight, we hopped on a train that took us directly in to Termini Station in Rome. We had arrived!!

Our hotel, the Monte Carlo, was very nice. It had a quaint old-fashioned iron elevator, that insisted you close the door securely or it would not move. Our first room was possibly taller than it was wide, giving the impression, aided by the blue striped wallpaper, of being at the bottom of a giant hatbox. But it was clean and had a street view. The problem with it was the bathroom, which was by far the smallest “full” bathroom I’ve ever seen or used. It had a wonderful towel-warming rack (delightful in European winters), but it was placed so close to the toilet that singeing would occur unless one sat at an angle – which toilet seats are just not comfortably designed for. The shower was too small for any adult, other than Twiggy, to turn around comfortably in, and you had to open the doors and practically step out if you had any need to actually bend. I made a call the next morning to see if we could get another room, and for a mere 15 Euros/day, we could get one with a non-dollhouse bathroom, as well as “complimentary” breakfast. So we did. And it was well worth it. We lost the view of the street, and traded it for industrial roofs, but we weren’t there to window-gaze. The bathroom was luxuriously large, with a whirlpool tub, and the breakfasts were really lovely (with amazing pastries and a delightful server who smiled when she saw us each morning and knew after a day that I wanted hot tea and Ron wanted espresso). In addition, the entire staff, from the front desk to the maids, were pleasant, nice and always helpful (which, in comparison to our experience in Florence, was greatly appreciated).

So after getting settled our first day, we wandered back out and upon examining the map, decided to amble in the direction of Trevi Fountain. As we were talking, we came to a church and Ron suggested we stop in. From the outside it was rather unassuming, with a basic stone front. In fact, until I looked up and saw the cross at the top, I didn’t even realize it was a church. And yet inside I was stunned speechless. The Santa Maria della Vittoria church was Baroque like no Baroque I’ve known before! Gilding to the ceiling, high arches, paintings and decorations that required one to just stand in one spot and slowly turn as you absorbed what your eyes were trying to take in. The detailing was phenomenal and I could not have been more impressed… or so I thought. As Ron was perusing the side alters, he motioned me over to the one closest to the center alter. There we were, standing in Rome in a happenstance church and facing Bernini’s “Ecstasy of St. Teresa” marble statue (completed 1652). It’s very famous in art circles, or anyone with religious or historical learning’s, but to me this was the first time I’d heard of or seen it and it was the beginning of a vacation of Bernini appreciation.

From here we wandered across the street to the church of St. Susanna, which, minus a Bernini, was equally impressive and stunning. We continued on down Via Barberini, and as we were coming around a bend I saw a large fountain in the middle of a big square and my first thought was, “Trevi Fountain is a lot smaller that I thought.” We wandered up to it, complete with the setting sun and an eccentric (or crazy) man addressing passersby with great flourish. I can’t recall if it’s at this point, or a little later, that we realized we were not at Trevi Fountain at all, but rather at the Fountain of Triton in Barberini Square (at least we discovered that it was designed by Bernini in 1643 for Pope Urban VIII). Fair enough. It was a lovely fountain.

As became another theme in our vacation, we decided to find a restaurant for dinner based on the plethora of beautiful lights draped across the street. We wandered up a tree-lined street, with lights draped everywhere, and cafés and trattorias all lined up. Dinner was great. The weather was clear but cool, and since we still didn’t know the bus system, we soon decided to retrace our steps back to the hotel with hopes of finding a grocery store along the way. Luckily we did, so we stocked up on granola bars, bananas, pumpkin seeds (these gave us a chortle on our last day in Rome… read on), cookies and some fresh rolls (that magically turn to stone within 24 hours).

By the time we got back to the Monte Carlo we were thoroughly exhausted and fell into bed in our jack-in-the-box room and slept the deep sleep of the very contented.

Mars vs. Venus – Debate Wages On

Based on the comments/responses/confused inquiries I’ve received, and utilizing my (non-existent) sociological skills, I believe I have found the perfect exemplar of the impenetrable communication barrier between men and women. The Ericsson Alien.

I had no idea how divisive it could be, but men (most Ron’s friends, granted) have responded with fascination and overwhelming joy, whereas woman (okay, they’re mostly my friends) have responded with, “Huh”, “Why?” and “I don’t get it.”

If someone can map the human brain’s response to seeing the Ericsson Alien, we may finally crack the Mars-Venus divide.

“Best Birthday Ever!”

“This is the best birthday ever!” exclaimed my 36-year-old husband as he opened his present. Yes, I finally found the answer to a birthday gift for the-world’s-most-difficult-man-to-buy-for – it’s a plastic Ericsson alien.


The back story here, because there has to be one, is that when we were in a local Mobinil store Ron noticed this strange plastic alien that was being used in a display. He admired it (if that’s possible) and asked the clerk if he could buy it. Even in Arabic the clerk was confused. And Ron’s attempt to acquire it failed.

I repressed the whole thing, just happy not to have yet another piece of strange plastic junk in the house. But recently someone mentioned it in reference to Ron’s upcoming birthday and I realized that in order to qualify for the “Wife of the Year” award, I needed to get that damn alien. So I went back to the store, employed my feminine wiles (I smiled and looked pleadingly), and did the one thing that I knew would work. I offered a ridiculous amount of money. The clerk was still confused, but with money on the counter, he more than gladly sold me the alien and I walked away with a win.


You can see the delight as Ron opened the box and after exclaiming this was the best birthday ever, he paused and added, “Did you wash it?” Welcome to Cairo. Where all gifts need a good bath. I admitted my failure, so Ron diligently went and gave the alien a good scrubbing.



Happy Birthday Dear!

Egyptian Thoughts

So I had my first meeting with Hala and Gilan in about a month. They’re my language-swappers (English for Arabic and Arabic for English). What with our vacation, then holidays, it’s probably been over a month. I was supposed to meet them yesterday, Monday, but instead I waited in the apartment for 4 ½ hours for the plumbers who had scheduled a 10:30am appointment and finally showed up at 3:00pm. I had complained of a drippy faucet (three actually) and they came to fully replace our kitchen faucet. Fair enough. At least it doesn’t drip anymore, but boy was I a crank yesterday!

So I grabbed a taxi today and headed out to Mohandiseen to their publishing company. I met with Hala first, as Gilan didn’t get there until after an hour. We typically just start talking about anything and everything. This time Hala also had a list of questions she’d gathered from watching television (she loves “Desperate Housewives”), such as, what does “I’ll make it up to you” mean, or how do you pronounce “episode” and “Nike”? (The last one threw her because despite looking like “bike” and “like” it ain’t pronounced that way. Welcome to English – I’m so glad I’m not learning it as an adult.)

Hala is in her forties, owns and runs a successful publishing/printing company, but admitted that she misses the creative side of the business which she never gets to do anymore. She told me she’s recently been taking Film Directing courses through a local art college in Maadi, which keeps her busy until 10:00pm three nights a week, from which she comes home and studies until 5:00am, then conducts the first prayer of the day, then goes to sleep for five hours, and starts her business day around noon. She’s exhausted but is really enjoying the classes and even got a scholarship based on her grades. She’s doing it to be able to offer her clients the additional service of making short films or commercials, as she said she gets a lot of requests for those, as well as feeding her desire for creative work. I’m definitely impressed with her drive.

In past meetings we’ve broached some potentially awkward topics, like when they asked me what I thought of Egypt and all that came to mind at first was trash, trash and trash, and they asked me why I waited so long to get married (i.e., I’m old). But this meeting was different. Hala was very forthcoming with her thoughts on Egypt and the current situation with Israel and Gaza. I tried to keep quiet and just let her talk as I didn’t want to get into deep political discussions. She talked about how angry she is and how she’s not sleeping after watching the news. The Arab news is very graphic in its coverage of Gaza, showing primarily, almost entirely, children injured and dead presenting a highly-charged one-sided view. She talked about feeling helpless but so angry. She said that so many Egyptians are livid over this and it adds to their general depression over the state of Egypt. According to her, people have lost faith in President Mubarak, who’s 81, and there’s complete uncertainly as to who will take over from him if he steps down or dies. He’s apparently grooming his son for it, but she said no one likes him; he lacks charisma and was only 11 when his father took office in 1981, and so has lost contact with “the people.” She said initially Mubarak was loved and respected. “He was one of us,” she said. But the corruption is so rampant, there are no job or business opportunities for young people, and a lot of them have no initiative anyway. She fears an increase in violence and crime, but doesn’t think anything can be done about it. She was really down and unfortunately I couldn’t do much to help her mood. I agree with her assessment of Egypt.

I shared with her my story of seeing the body in the Nile and she was surprised at first. But then when I told her what the captain told us, to just ignore it and keep moving forward, she agreed. “My father told me the same thing,” she said. Then she told me of a time when she was driving and saw a man hitting a woman by the side of the road. He pushed her and she fell in the road into Hala’s lane, just after Hala drove by. Hala said she stopped the car and was going to help the woman, but then thought about it and just drove on. She said she knew if she stopped she could easily be blamed for the woman’s injuries, just by being there. What type of society raise children to ignore injured, dead and dying humans? And what type of society discourages helping others because there’s no personal responsibility taught and the random Good Samaritan will instead be blamed? There are times that Egypt feels truly medieval to me.

Hala has a cousin who lives in San Francisco and has been begging her to move there. She visited the U.S. prior to 9/11 and is now planning a trip for this summer and she’s definitely considering the option of moving there. She asked me a lot of questions about how Americans will perceive her with her headscarf. Despite wearing headscarves, both she and Gilan are very modern in their clothing, wearing jeans and slacks, basic sweaters and tops, just with a color-coordinated headscarf. I told her that I thought in the big cities I doubted most people would even react. Then again, I’ve been gone for almost a year so maybe I’m wrong. She’s worried, and sees on the news how Islamic people are singled out, but we talked about how post 9/11 as part of the human race we all need to be more diligent about watching out for others and being aware of our surroundings. Unfortunately, hyper vigilance can lead to erroneous claims and innocent people being accused, but sadly that’s a price we pay for taking charge of our own destinies. And hopefully the system is also designed to weed these out and correct mistakes. We can’t just lay back and let others, Allah, God, the Big Kahuna, do everything for us. And I think that is a very foreign concept to most Egyptians. This is a tough time for Egyptians, who see such great opportunities in other countries to live better lives, but still have deep pride in Egypt.

***
As I was writing this at night in our apartment, Ron was taking a shower and I suddenly heard a knocking on our window behind me. Without looking too hard (too many teenage horror films of creepy faces in windows) I inched away from the window and made Ron come check it out. As I was waiting for him, I saw something hit the window again. Chuckles and Ricky heard it too and were intently trying to get to the window (which doesn’t have a sill for them to perch on – though we’ll probably have something rigged up for them eventually). We turned off all the lights and Ron crept towards the window. Just as he was standing at the window behind my desk chair, a little bird flew off who had been sitting on our outside sill. It’s 9:30pm! Why isn’t he in bed?! Stupid bird.